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No daddy.. should i feel guilt!?

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10 years 3 months ago #1 by Maylene
Maylene replied the topic: Re:No daddy.. should i feel guilt!?
PS - and i agree with the other ladies, you have nothing to feel guilty about. You a being the best mom you can be and looking out for the best interest in your baby. There is no shame in that. You are a strong wonderful woman who is willing to stand up for whats right for you and your baby:kiss:

Luv
Maylene

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10 years 3 months ago #2 by Maylene
Maylene replied the topic: Re:No daddy.. should i feel guilt!?
Hunny, ask yourself this....
Do you want your son to grow up in a violent and abuse atmospher?
Do you want THAT 'man' to be your sons role modle?
Do you really want to live your life in fear for both your life and you baby?
No you dont, yes he is your sons father, but if he doesnt even treat your son with love and care, than i personely think your baby is better off without his father in his life. Thats just how i feel, and i told my own brothers ex who is the mother of his child the same thing when they were together. Thats how strongly i feel about that kind of treatment and behaviour.
Your son is alot better off having only you in his life than you and his dad. Yes you baby will need a father figure, but it doesnt have to be the baby dad, it can be your dad (like in the case of my nephew he sees my dad as his dad, cause his mom doesnt have a dad) or it could be your bother or your uncle. But you know, my hubby grew up with his dad not being around much, his mom basicaly brought him and his sister up on her own, and his the most sweets and loving man i know.
My dad's dad left them ( my late grandmom and 4sons) when them dad was 10
My dad is a good guy. What i'm trying to say is, your baby can still turn out to be a great person by only having a mom, maybe even better than having him mom and bilogical dad in his life.

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10 years 3 months ago #3 by angel_mom
angel_mom replied the topic: Re:No daddy.. should i feel guilt!?
hey there
i would say there are lotsa people feeling guilty for you already, and you should go with your instincts!
i am now 33, my son is 16, and he has never met his father. we split when i was pregnant and it took me years to get over the feeling that i was doing wrong by my son...
the point i'm trying to make here is that you are doing what's best for you and your son, and i would in no way doubt my decision were i you.
hand in there- if things get out of hand there are legal steps too if you need to go that route.
ciao
angel

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10 years 3 months ago #4 by alexanders_mama
alexanders_mama replied the topic: Re:No daddy.. should i feel guilt!?
It sounds like hes really good at degrading your worth. I read your story before and it sounds like youre an awesome and strong person, and you should know and always remember that. You try your best as a mother, and Im sure youre doing the right thing for your family.
Stand up for yourself and your family. You should be the one laying down the rules, not him; make sure he knows that. Thats no way to be, for him to come and go; ignoring him completely is probably no way to go...eventually youll need to talk with him to work things out, but dont go with any suggestion that you dont want to.
As for right now, maybe its good to get some help or to take some time out to think about things. I know thats what i did with my sons dad -- he was good at degrading my worth -- one little phrase is vividly remembered in my mind, when I told him I deserved respect, he said 'no you dont. normal people deserve respect. prove yourself to me and ill respect you.' and i shut up. Well its no good shutting up and keeping silent, because i DO deserve respect and i AM a normal person -- and same goes for you, you and the children DESERVE RESPECT.
It took me a long time introspecting, blogging (this is where this site comes in), thinking about things, and even a few drunken nights out to just see me for a person whos worthy of love respect and everything else thats good in this world.
Until you can properly stand up to him, im sure youre doing the right thing by keeping him away. because it takes a lot of strength to stand up to something that put that much fear into you. I havent seen my ex for a very long time, and although I know my needs and the things i ask of him are not stupid, I still wonder what would happen if i had to talk to him again and stand up for my son and I.

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10 years 3 months ago #5 by Mommieofchris
Mommieofchris replied the topic: Re:No daddy.. should i feel guilt!?
thank you guys for your impputt i really needed to hear/read it... even my own friends are saying im going to regret it later.. and im one of those people that if i hear it enough.. i belelive it.. you know? but im trying so hard to stand up and do whats right because its not just something stupid like highschool drama.. its life! my sons life!

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10 years 3 months ago #6 by lilredheed
lilredheed replied the topic: Re:No daddy.. should i feel guilt!?
I think you are doing the right thing mental abuse is wrong but physical is dangerous. All you are doing is thinking of your child which is exactly what any decent mother would do!
Dont feel guilty ... i would be doing the same if i was in your position

_x

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