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need major help

10 years 6 months ago #1 by bweber
bweber replied the topic: Re:need major help
im so sorry to hear about ur loss...i have not lost a baby, but i know sort of how you feel because i have lost my mom...and the stages of loss are the same for any loss...but it's not ur fault and there is nothing that you could have done to prevent the loss....

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10 years 6 months ago #2 by RonnieBo
RonnieBo replied the topic: Re:need major help
I am not going through this and so I can only imagine how I would feel.There was nothing you could have to prevent this from happening.Dont beat yourself up over it.Things happen that are out of our control sometimes and there is nothing we can do to prevent it.I f there is someone you trust who will listen to you,maybe a diary of your thoughts and feelings or you can write letters to your lost child or take up a hobby. but if that doesnt work then you should get help.Youll probably never forget the baby but you can be safe in the knowlede that noone can ever hurt her.If you start feeling depressed then talk to someone who will listen and get help.Good luck and sorry

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10 years 6 months ago #3 by sibzy
sibzy replied the topic: Re:need major help
i am in your shoes. i mis my baby everyday, sibaan was my reason but now she is gone. its been a year and 2 months and 3 weeks since i lost her and still i carry the hurt and anger.

i pushed everyone away and now i have no one. my only strength is my boyfriend who was not the father of my angel but he still shares my pain.

you need to be strong and try not to push anyone away because i promise you now, its really lonely on my side.

crying is a everyday thing for me, i have ben so depressed that i have lost too much weight. i hate myself so much that i cant look in a miror.

i have night mares about sibaan where i can hear her but i cant get to her.

loosing a child is the hardest thing anyone can go through especially with all the what if questions you ask yourself, day in and day out.

i know you feel empty and worthless now but you need to be strong and brave otherwise it wont get any easier.

trust me

im a mommy with a very broken heart.....

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10 years 6 months ago #4 by roxannes_legacy
roxannes_legacy replied the topic: Re:need major help
I haven't been through what you have and are going through right now. But what I would encourage you to do is to talk about it. Whether it's finding a Mentor on here or maybe there is someone you are close to where you live...If you are involved with a Church, maybe even your Pastor....but either way, talk about it. Don't bottle it up inside of you. By doing that, it becomes a bitter poison that eventually ends up eating us up.

If you want, I would be willing to be that listening ear that you need right now.

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10 years 6 months ago #5 by Meg11
Meg11 replied the topic: Re:need major help
I dont think you should try to work this out on your own.....you shouldnt have to carry that heavy weight by yourself....it is not your fault that you babys heart stopped...you gave that baby a chance at life by making a different choice than last time and you are to be commnded for that....I know that you must hurt very badly but giving yourself a guilt trip can only make things worse....I would like to stop and pray for you right now....Lord I just lift this young woman up to You right now...I pray that You would comfort her heart and give her a new begining today...she made a poor choice in Ocotber and I know she is still grieved over that..I pray that You would help her to forgive herself and help her to look forward rather than behind..then more recently Lord she conceived again and made the right choice by chosing to keep her baby....You know her hurt and loss regarding this last pregnancy Lord and I pray that You would hide her in Your wings and that she would feel Your touch in this time of sorrow....I pray that You would go before her on the path she chooses to walk on from here on out and that You would in Your perfect timing bring her a husband to love her and understand the scars she will have from these babies, and that You would bless her with babies one day when the timing is right...until that time comes I pray that You would surround her with people to love on her and to help her in this time and give her wisdom on who to talk to.....give her strength for each and everyday and draw her into Your presence...I ask all these things and more in Jesus name...and if anyone else reading this agrees say with me...Amen.........I hope and pray that the Lord would bring you a special friend through this time to help comfot and counsel you on how to make it through...its hard to see it in the moment but over time and healing this will make you stronger and you will be a great mommy one day and I know that you would never take your future babies for granted...so until then..keep your eyes on Jesus and let Him carry your burden...dont try to do it on your own...Love Meg

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  • dawnielove
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10 years 6 months ago #6 by dawnielove
dawnielove replied the topic: Re:need major help
First off, a cyber hug for you.

Secondly, its normal to feel the way you do. No one \"wants\" to get it wrong, and we all want to try to get it right/better the next time. In addition to the expected emotional stress, hormones settling back into a different routine are likely to make that stuff hit you harder.

Natural terminations happen a lot more commonly that most people know. It's estimated that about 25% of ALL pregnancies miscarry. Most of these are in the first trimester which is before 13 weeks. The majority of those under 6 wks are not reported since many don't know they are pregnant yet. Also, over half of those miscarriages are due to random genetic deformities that aren't hereditary or anything but mean the baby wasn't \"coded\" right and wouldn't develop enough to survive. Genetic lottery is nothing you can control. So, at least you can know that what happened to you is tragic but not unusual. Maybe the head knowing can help the heart some.

If you decide to get pregnant again later, there are so many things you can do to give your baby the best start. Seeing a doctor before hand can give you a leg up on any conditions you may need to treat first, like fibroids or cervical issues. When you are ready, do your homework, consult a doctor, and then follow your instincts. Until (when/if) you are ready, take care of yourself. Give yourself the 2-6 wks it can take for your system to reset itself completely. Most important, don't be too hard on yourself and realize you suffered an injury from the loss of your baby - both physical and emotional. Don't be afraid to see a counselor/therapist to treat the emotional trauma just like you saw your doctor to treat the physical trauma.

Lots of support and positive energy to you. <3

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