Welcome - Login and Forum Rules

Our forum is open to Registered Members to post. Please register for more forum features available to you. If you are an existing member please login and click on the category title to post. All content in this Forum, as well as the entire site, will be moderated. This means that anything written will not be posted right away but will first have to pass an approval process. This usually does not take more than 1 to 2 days if not sooner. Not everything that is written will be published on this site. We do not tolerate foul language or obscene imagery. Please keep this in mind when posting. Please limit the size of your post to 500 characters or less.

my ordeal

10 years 9 months ago #1 by ericklirios
ericklirios replied the topic: Re:my ordeal
If he's there even after you make it clear that sex is presently out of the question, then he may be worth it. Otherwise, he'll just leave you also once he gets sex.

You definitely need professional help. Only a professional can help you get over the trauma and deal with the fact that sex will be part of married life.

Honey, maybe you should seriously consider keeping away from sex until you get married. IF your guy loves you regardless of not getting any, then he's someone that you can trust in many ways. Make him realize that you're just more than someone he can have sex with. Honestly, sex tends to muddle up things. Keep things pplatonic if you can and allow him just a few concessions. You'll notice that most guys will start treating you differently once sex is on the table.

Keep things simple. Save sex for some later time. Try and get your heart healed. If he's worth it, he'll wait.

Take care of yourself. Don't be afraid to lose somebody. Fighting for someone you love doesn't mean selling yourself short.


Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

10 years 9 months ago #2 by Lats
Lats replied the topic: Re:my ordeal
hey hope ur ok and i dont mean this to sound harsh but if u loose him coz of it he was never worth having in the first place. If he loves u he will stick with u and do evrything he can to make u feel better for you - not so that ul have sex with him. Is he supportive whenever ur down about it or only when he wants sex? if its all the time then ur relationship should be fine. It shouldnt be about making him happy it should be about making YOU happy. The best advice would be to sit down and talk to him about it and also talk to a proffesional

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

10 years 9 months ago #3 by goodluckyall
goodluckyall replied the topic: Re:my ordeal
Have you actually told him what happened to you in the past? If not, I would suggest you talk to him about it. He will more than likely support you. Also, if you haven't had therapy, I would suggest you seek counseling. You might even be able to go to a women's center or rape/crisis support to talk to others who understand how you feel.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

10 years 9 months ago #4 by mickynicky
mickynicky created the topic: my ordeal

i was 16yrs when i started dating my 27 old boyfriend and before i relieased he was demanding for sex we talk it over and he promised to back off.he sid but oneday the unexpected happened he raped him.my whole world was shattered and life became i standstill :sick: for i thought i would be prgenent but no i didnt.i have live with the truama all till now am 22.i have a lovely bofriend but istill have a problem i cant think of sex the word alone scares me
but he is helping get over with it.am hurt ,am wounded but am surviving pls kindly help make my man happy i dont wanna loose him pls

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Moderators: Dnash76sugMolly

Need Help?

standupgirl contact becky

standupgirl app

Translate Our Page


StandUpGirl Login

Welcome to StandUpGirl