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Really need help on dicipline

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8 years 1 month ago #1 by seedsofhope
seedsofhope replied the topic: Re:Really need help on dicipline
what has worked for me is to really let the child know that you re the one in charge. They need to learn their place in their world. That they are the child and you are the parent. It will help them to understand boundaries later on too. I agree that they need to feel that it is ok to get frustrated, but not to the point of them becoming unmanageable. And for now, that is your job.. to manage them. lol.

With my boys, I'd get my face close to theirs and look them in the eye. I'd tell them (calmly) that this is NOT acceptable behavior and that if they need to cry or whatnot, to take it into their bedroom (even when they were REALLY little I'd do this). If we were in public, I would stop whatever we were doing and take them to a restroom, or somewhere private. I told them we were going to go "talk" haha. Pretty soon they realized it was no fun being taken away from a situation or activity or have to go into another room away from everyone else.

If she is aggrivated because she is frustrated, then try to help her express what's wrong by using her words. Some kids never learn how to do this and grow up to be fighters or impulsive because they don't know how to cope.

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8 years 2 months ago #2 by ohionightdreamer
ohionightdreamer replied the topic: Re:Really need help on dicipline
Dont worry about the tantrums! They are unavoidable, just your girl testing out the world! I teach pre-school and every child throws tantrums at some time! Just think of it like this. When she throws a tantrum you have to ask....what is it she wants to achieve by this tantrum? And then make SURE she does not get what she wants.If you give in..she will learn tantrums work. Even if what she wants is to make you stay when your dropping her off somewhere, or that she wants your attention when your talking to someone else, or that she wants your bracelet and it is not a toy, anything. If you make sure her tantrums dont work. She will stoP! If they work....they will never stop, they will get worse and worse and become part of her m.o. for life!

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8 years 6 months ago #3 by nadza
nadza replied the topic: Re:Really need help on dicipline
hey lol i have a 15month old girl too n she does the exact same thing except she eats well and she started acting up at around 13 months....they have basically hit 'the terrible 2s' a lil earlier. they want things their way or no way. it is VERY important for you to show her at this stage that you are boss coz if she starts gettin her way wit manipulation, shes gonna becum spoilt, but shes gotta be handled with luv too odawise shes gonna be stubborn lol its a balancing game!

thers a variety of methods to choose from, all with different levels of strictness, its for you to choose which ones u are comfy implying and also wat she responds best to.my lil one responded best to a method that involved allowing her to vent her anger so that her feelings arent suppresd but i didnt pick her up or anything during the anger burst then when she calmed down or came to me for calming, i explained to her why she cant have her way and gave her a hug n kiss n played a game or read a book that she chose. she realized very soon that getting angry n throwin a tantrum got her nowhere, so now instead she cums for a cuddle n we go n do something where she is in control and things go her way...

good luck!!

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8 years 6 months ago #4 by myangelsinheaven
myangelsinheaven replied the topic: Re:Really need help on dicipline
The good news is that your beautiful baby girl is behaving normal!! As long as she's drinking and producing wet diapers she's doing as well expected for her age. She, most likely, has found more joy in her new world now that she's more mobile.....am I right? And she's found that expressing herself and trying to communicate in different ways is much more exciting than sitting in a crummy old high chair having mushy food to eat.

She will eat.....barring any other medical problems. I swear my 3 1/2 year old is making up for 2 yrs. of not eating. She did manage to eat a corner of a banana here, a crust of bread there, maybe 3 grapes after her nap and if we were having a really good day, she'd eat a bowl of angel hair pasta minus the sauce for dinner. I am not exaggerating when I tell you this. She wouldn't be the first one of my family to try out this cool diet either. For whatever reason, toddlers and preschoolers are on the go eaters.

You can try to eliminate the high chair, and just set a plate of nutritious finger foods on a chair at the table and let her go to it whenever she feels hungry. Let her see it and make it low enough for her to do it herself and if she's on milk now, leave a cup of milk with her snack. I decided after watching a few of mine go through this same thing, that it's not worth the screaming and kicking to get them to sit down formally all the time. That will come later with age, but for now I just want to get some food in her. Gradually I moved the plate from the chair to the corner of the table. Later, I would put it at her place setting but pushed back a little bit, where she knew it was there like always, but she actually had to get into her booster chair to reach into it. Once she was in the booster, she was having too much fun eating to realize that she had placed herself at the table. She was in charge....exactly what they want!! The sweet thing, is that I wasn't the bad guy for getting her there.
Now, she knows where the food is and if I'm good at timing it......it falls right at mealtime when everyone else is sitting down so it's just part of the normal routine.

I hope this has helped. Just make sure at night when she's sleeping....you precut and prepare all her favorites for the next day, so you will be ahead of her.

Happy eating!!
myangelsinheaven

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  • JenLo
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8 years 6 months ago #5 by JenLo
JenLo replied the topic: Re:Really need help on dicipline
I know it's totally hard when your little one won't eat but a kid I nannied for had the same problem and his pediatrician told us that children WILL eat when they're hungry enough.

So rather than frustrating the both of you by dealing with her fits (I swear sometimes it's harder on the momma than the baby!) try to pick the most calorie dense but nutrtious food you can and offer it to her once. If she doesn't want it than say "Okay" and begin a new activity. Try again an hour later. Keep repeating it until she's hungry!

Obviously if there's something wrong, and she doesn't eat for more than 12 hours, you should do whatever you can to get her to eat, but before that, see if this doesn't help! :)

BEST WISHES! 15 months is a HARD AGE!

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  • MissKirsty
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8 years 6 months ago #6 by MissKirsty
MissKirsty replied the topic: Re:Really need help on dicipline
Hey there!
One place that my Mom absolutely loved for advice on child training is www.nogreaterjoy.org (just google NGJ and it's the first result)
Their child-training video would definitely be helpful to you.
Good luck! :-)

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