A new start.

Almost 2 years ago, I met the love of my life. I knew right away that we were going to get married. I told my mom and she 100% supported me and if she didn’t, I had no idea. But my dad was a different story. He was totally against it and didn’t talk to me for almost 8 months.

Well, me and my husband did as I had suspected and got married January 27th, this year. One week after the wedding, I found out I was pregnant. It was a honeymoon baby. I was so ecstatic because that was the one thing both of us had wanted. Of course, I was scared to death. Unfortunately, we got another surprise. 1 month later, I miscarried. It was horrible. I was very depressed. But I still felt like I was pregnant. Of course, I was trying to tell myself I wasn’t. Well, 2 months went by and still hadn’t started my period. I told my husband I was pregnant and he didn’t believe me. so one night we were eating at Taco Bell and I slipped away to the bathroom and took a pregnancy test. When I showed him, he was so happy. But I couldn’t be happy. I was so terrified that I started crying because I didn’t want to loose this baby too. My mom had told me when I was younger that if I got pregnant, she was going to make me have an abortion so I was nervous to tell her, but I did. She was, to my surprise, happy. I told her at least I had waited longer than her. Haha. She was pregnant at 17 and had me a couple months after her birthday.

Anyways, now I’m 16 weeks and 2 days with a very healthy baby and I couldn’t be more ecstatic. I’m very nervous especially because I don’t have my own home yet. I’m still really young and there’s no way that without my mom i could make it in todays world alone. I’ve wanted to have kids since I was 13 years old. and it’s a miracle I didn’t end up with one. I’ve had 3 miscarriages, 1 because the dad beat me, and I have never used condoms. I was very stupid when I was younger and even though I’m still a baby myself, at least I’m 18.

All my life, I wanted to be 18 but I’m still no older or ready to live my own life than I was 18 years ago. I still get upset when I can’t stay the night at my mom’s house. She makes jokes with me all the time saying that I need to grow up that I’m going to be a mom and my come back is always, “Yea but I still have my mommy”. And it’s my opinion but I don’t think abortion is a correct answer to all situations. Adoption is a choice I would have made if I had been younger. But now that I’m pregnant, I’m not sure I could even do that. My baby is still in my stomach but I’m already so attached. It’s really a personal experience that only you can make the decision on.

Even though mommy and daddy may want you to have an abortion or give your baby up for adoption, it’s still your baby, your life. You should make your own choice because mommy and daddy don’t have to live with the decision for the rest of their lives, you do. My decision is to keep the baby. I know I’m young. I know it will be the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but I can live with that decision where I personally couldn’t live with the others.