Hi to all frightened pregnant woman out there,

Two years ago I fell pregnant.  My current boyfriend at that time did not care about me and was to selfish to even consider my feelings.  When he found out that I was pregnant, he ran away so fast.  He stopped calling me and did not return any of my calls either.

Despite this, I was happy to become a mommy.  I hadjust obtained my degree and had a good enough job to support the baby.  Just when I thought I could do this, 9 weeks into the pregnancy I found out that my baby was severly deformed.  Doctors told me that the baby would not live past 1 week after being born, if born at all.  Abortion was my only option.  I had gone to 4 doctors and they all refused to handle my pregnancy due to the severity of the deformation.

I made the difficult choice of aborting my baby.  It is something that I still can't get over to this day.  I think about my baby everyday.

I am now married to an incredible man, that loves me.  At present I'm unable to conceive and my past choice now haunts me even more.  Sometimes I feel that my choice to kill my first child has led to me never being able to be blessed with another baby again.  I wasn't given the choice by doctors but in the end it is I that needs to answer to God one day.  God has forgiven me but I still need to forgive myself.  This has been a difficult journey but I know that I can make it. 

If you have your baby, you may face difficulties now being parents disapproval, school pressures etc. but it is a decision that you will never regret. 

I ask you, no, I beg you.... please don't see abortion as an option.  Its a decision that you will never be able to live with.  Its a decision that may cost you more when you want to be happy with your husband.

Sometimes i feel anger towards woman that still makes a decision to abort their healthy babies but I know that it is their choice in the end.

I hope my story has changed your mind. 

Regards,

SAgirl