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Hi Becky, I am 24, just started a new job and am in a relationship with a guy that was my best friend....
I have a 5yr old son and he is Great, i had an abortion 3yrs ago with my ex because he didn’t want the baby.
I just found out that i am about 2 weeks pregnant but i am not sure if i should have the baby because
i am scared that what if my boy friend and I dont work out, i always wanted to have my next kids after marriage and our relationship is not a definate.
I was happy when i found out i was pregnant but my mom told me that i am making a mistake to even consider keeping the baby.
I am afraid that my boss wont be impressed cause i have only been here 2 months.
I have my first Doctors visit tomorrow and i am nervous because i don’t know what to do.
Abort or keep…?
Please Help
Regards, Helen
Dear Helen,
Listen to the voice inside you. Your heart does not lie. Don't let ANYONE talk you into anything. It sounds like you are thinking very clearly. Trust yourself. Ultimately this is your decision. It is your body and your baby. No one can or should make it for you.
I have talked to many girls, like you, who have chosen to have an abortion and have deeply regretted it. It isn't the simple solution that many try and make it out to be. Don't ignore the promptings within you. This baby was meant to be. No child is a mistake. I really believe that. It sounds like you believe that, too.
You know what joy your son bring to your life. Can you imagine your life without him? This little baby is going to bring just as much joy to both of you. Yes it will be work. No two ways about it. But it is totally doable. Trust that you will be given all the strength and courage, and resources that you need. Stand strong in what you know to be right. Stand up for this new little baby within you. You CAN do this. You strong enough! Don't let anyone push you around or make you feel small.
Please keep in touch and let me know how you are doing. I would love to walk through this with you and help you find the support and resources you need.
I dont even know how to begin to thank you for the reply, i have decided that i would like to keep my child even though i have many fears about work...etc... But thats ok God will pave the way.
On Monday i went to see my Pastor after i had sent you the e-mail and my boyfriend came along. He told us that it is a sin and i do understand that. The only reason i opted for the abortion is because i was not getting any support from my mother and my boyfriend and that made me feel that i will have to fight alone.
I am a single mom as it is and i couldnt do it on my own again. But by the Grace of God, after my doctors visit my boyfriend called me and told me that he would like the baby and that alone was enough to make me shout with joy. I am happy that i didnt make any sudden choices and i will try my best to do this and not get scared again.
Your sight is amazing and your e-mail is a blessing into my Life. Thank you so Much and i admire and hope one day i could do what you do because you have to have a huge heart to help strangers. God Bless you always.
noemi15 says... written by noemi15 , March 16, 2009
you see how everything turns out good......thats why it's always good to think twice before you take any actions. don't ever think of that again.....a child is one of god's greatest masterpiece.
ladyluck says... written by ladyluck , March 20, 2009
This is your decision because you will have to live with a baby for the rest of your life. it's many risk for abortions; i would suggest you should think about it more and do what you feel is right.
I relate with your story Helen. And I did the same, but later on I got the support from my family and to my future husband. But unfortuantely, I give up my career just for the baby because my boss did not allowed me to continue my work due to my sensitive pregnancy they all worried bout my condition. Remeber gurl everything has a reason. .
Darling the choice is yours but I will say to you keep the baby thats the gift from god and a precious one.
Shawna1221 says... written by Shawna1221 , March 24, 2009
Hi Helen=] I think it is horrible that you don't have the support of your mother in these hard times for you!!
I believe that a mother should be there for their children no matter what, and to support their child in the decsions they make for there lives...and Im so sorry you don't have that.
I am very glad you decided to keep the child.. I think that everything happens for a reason and that god never gives you more than you can handle although some times it feels that way..
A child it the best gift life and god can give you!! cherish them=]
Jniyah131 says... written by Jniyah131 , March 26, 2009
Gurl follow ur heart no matta otah ppl have 2 say about u and ur desicions................FOLLOW THE HEART GOD GAVE YAH............
apollo13 says... written by apollo13 , March 26, 2009
No one has the right to tell any woman to have an abortion. Your mom should not tell you to abort as this is your baby growing inside you. I had an abortion and I regret it with all my heart. I cannot turn the clock back. God bless you and the baby and once you hold him in your arms nothing else will matter.
Nicolette says... written by Nicolette , March 30, 2009
Becky is right, when you get pregnant a lot of people start voicing their thoughts and making all sort of decisions about your baby- but this isn’t everyone’s baby- it’s your baby and as it’s mother it’s you responsibility to look after and protect- you will regret it if you do this. Your mom’s opinion will change with time- she’ll accept the kid, no matter how long it takes- but if you have an abortion that can’t change and as for your boss- bosses are passing things, you might find another job in the future and it won’t matter what he thought of you- but aborting your child will stay with you forever- don’t do it.
I know you’re scared of what could happen if your boyfriend and you don’t work out- but one thing you can be sure about is that- if you have this baby- no matter what- this child will thank you one day for being alive. Abortion will leave you with more regrets than you deserve. Don’t give up your baby and your peace of mind for things that can change with the click of a finger- choose that thing which will last forever- a child and that child’s children and so on. Be a standup girl.
lastchance says... written by lastchance , April 12, 2009
Helen, I am so proud of you.... I wish I could say the same for myself. Next Sunday April 19th would have been my due date and I chose to have the abortion instead of keeping my baby.... Embrace the gift God has given you and know he/she has a specific purpose!! Your son will make a great big brother! Sincerely, lastchance
jay_duesept.11 says... written by jay_duesept.11 , April 13, 2009
hey i am 16 yrs. old and i am pregnant and if u disregard this you might the make the biggest mistake...i know your probably who cares this is just a little girl that doesn't know ,but just think you already had an abortion once and didnt it hurt you "emotionally"? i think you shouldnt do it because its a baby imagine how beutiful that baby will be after you have it and he/or she is already growing inside of you..that baby already has love for you unconditional love ,and he/she is a part of you it has your blood running inside its little body....just think of all the good things and the good memories of their 1st birthday could bring and your son...think of it as if it would of been him..your deciding on weither he would live or die i just couldn't imagine anything happening to my baby so just think it over and may you make the best decision. :) thx if you read this -Jzaniah Guerra tx.
Khaya N says... written by Khaya N , April 15, 2009
Hey.
I've had 2 abortions and trust me, the reasons behind them aren't even valid when I even think back to why I went through with it. Emotionally that pain will forever be there. It is enough to drive you over the edge.
But when it comes to your situation, think hard and weigh out the pro and cons. It isn't alwys as bad as it seems.
nena8127 says... written by nena8127 , April 15, 2009
I cant believe u had an abortion imagine if u would have the baby he/she would have been 3 years old
Natale20 says... written by Natale20 , April 15, 2009
hello there! well uhm..you should follow your heart,like everyones been saying! no one can make a decision for you! your the one who will end up with the regrets after.Just befor eyou make your decision rmeember that everyone whos been telling you to have an abortion,is alive! they dont know what its like to have to kill a baby. yea fetus,but its developing! As your mom,just like every other mom..wouldnt like you to have the baby; but when she sees it growing she'll care for it and forget she ever gave you that option! Everyone has a chance to live. your pregnant because god chose it to be like that and absolutley everything happens for a reason! The baby wasnt asked to be brought into this life, but god did. Dont care what anyone tells you. And your boss? forget him! its either him or your own baby-your blood. and as a "soon to be mother" you shouldnt care what they say! find another job after you get pregnant. You had your fun time,and now its time to face the consequences. -in my opinion. If he really likes you he wouldnt leave you..you'll just learn from what you see..and those who really do care for you!! :) so dont listen to no one.pretend like abortion is not an option! because..its not always the answer,its your choice! becareful because ive been researching alot about adoption..and it can bring MANY consequences in the futuree. Read about it before making your decission. watch videos..and ask yourself if thats what you really want. imagine it was you..what would u do then? think about it! now its all up to you! :)
pumpkin21 says... written by pumpkin21 , May 03, 2009
I'm so glad that everything has worked out for you:) All the best for the future and best of luck with buba!!!
xoxoxo
missyou09 says... written by missyou09 , May 04, 2009
I had a abortion around 3-4 months ago. And i hate myself for it.I never stop thinking about how it could or would have been if i kept him/her. I would never advise anybody to go through with an abortion but it's what is best for you,not your mum or dad ect. You and your baby. I am pleased to hear your boyfriend wants to support you and i hope it all works out for you. If your happy then stick with your choice. :) xx
It is your choice really, but I think that before you have an abortion you should read about what kinds there are and what they do. I read about it and cried. It was really sad to hear that this was being done all the time to live babies. I hope you make the right decision that you won't regret later.
mdellolio says... written by mdellolio , May 16, 2009
I agree and i think u should follow your heart and keep the babey!!!
I got pregnant with my 2nd child when my son was 5 years old too. From the day I found out I was having another baby I felt every emotion from excited to scared out of my mind. I felt bad for my son cuase at this point I was all his and he was all I knew. Not only was I unsure about EVERYTHING my boyfriend (then and now) didn't want to have the baby. We had only been together for 2 months when I became pregnant. Also, we had ment each other through our ex's and they were having a baby 2 weeks after ours was due. Yes, my sons father was having a baby with his (at the time 3 year old) daughter's mother. Plus we were having housing trouble so we stayed with my ex's family (my family for 8 years and still are) for a while. It was a mess. Then my boyfriend went to jail when I was 7 months along and I had nothing for my baby, nobody to help. My real family lived in a different state. 5 hours away! Now I had to make a very hard dicision. So I left not only my boyfriend, but my sons father who he is very close to. I didn't break-up with my man, but we were both scared about so many things. My mom and her best friend bought the baby everything and my boyfriend got out in time to see the baby be born. Why I wanted to tell you this was cause when they layed my new born daughter on my tummy and I looked at her for the first time all the things I felt during my pregnacy were crushed with this first glance and I knew it was all right. 2 years later everything I went through in my pregnacy is a memory I chuckle at I'm sure it will be the same for you. I know it will cause god knows what he's doing and so do you. I wish you the best of luck and even though my son wanted a brother and got 2 sisters he is very happy too!!
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"I had the abortion and paid for it all my life." 
