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My eldest daughter had been rebellious for several years so when she told me that she was pregnant at seventeen, my reaction was calm. It was the icing on the cake for me. I am the mother of four children. On that day almost two years ago, my other children were 14, 11 and 5. My husband and I had been married 18 years. This news changed our life forever. After the initial shock had worn off, anger and disappointment settled into our lives. Haley was very irresponsible and the thought of her having a baby and trying to raise it seemed like impossibility to me. She couldn’t take care of herself. She made bad choices. How in the world was she going to care for an infant?
Since I still had a five year old, I was not in the position to raise another child. Nor did I want that responsibility. I would have had another child myself had that been the case. I was very worried for this life – rightfully so. We gave the situation over to God by praying, seeking wisdom and continuing to obey what we thought our God was calling us to do in this situation. It was not easy.
She was terrified to tell us she was pregnant. She contemplated abortion. This website, STAND UP GIRL, was one of the resources she turned to. Thank God. She also went to Planned Parenthood, who “accidentally” showed her her sonogram. The sonogram confirmed in her heart she could not go through with the abortion. It was no accident she got to see her baby’s picture.
So she told us, and was mentally better off after we knew. We put the baby's well being first, and started preparing our hearts and lives for this new life to be added to our family. You may not realize how far reaching the effects of a teen pregnancy are... Our extended family was affected. We had a sister-in-law who had just experienced a miscarriage – a loving family who could not wait to have another baby. How devastating the news of a teen pregnancy was to them. This affected our church family. This affected the way our community looked at my daughter and our family – some good, some very, very negative.
It was an emotional rollercoaster. We were dealing with a child who had made adult decisions before she was ready. There was no turning back and, much to our joy, our daughter and her boyfriend stepped up to the plate and put this little life before their own. This was a very difficult decision for them because even though they had our emotional support, we put the entire responsibility onto them. They paid all the bills and were completely responsible for everything.
Aviana Ruby was born August 15, 2007 at 7:47 pm to a 17 year old mother and 18 year old father. She was a beautiful blessing. This tiny bundle of joy made two teenagers grow up very quickly. They chose to do the right thing by having her and then they chose the right thing by taking great care of her.
Today, Ava is 17 months old. She is a walking, talking example of God’s grace. He blessed us even when we didn’t deserve to be. We made our fair share of mistakes in the last two years dealing with our situation, but I think the Lord might use it in spite of us. I hope someone somewhere can be encouraged by our story. Trust that God will work out every thing for good. Seek Him, obey Him and you will be blessed.
For the girls out there in this situation, pray. Know that there is always hope and your baby deserves the chance to live. God has a plan for all of us, even your unborn baby. Find someone you trust, and talk to them. You'll feel relief and will appreciate their support. Tell your parents immediately. They can help you get the proper prenatal care that your baby deserves. It will give them time to adjust to the fact that they are going to be grandparents. They can also help you make wise decisions. Do not allow any negative people to persuade you to do something you know is not right. Go with your gut feelings.
For the girls out there who feel they have no support, pray. Try to find one adult who can help you. A local pregnancy resource center can give you free help, and information on other area resources. Abortion should never be an option. Everyone deserves a chance to live – you have that chance, give that chance to your baby.
For the parents of a pregnant teen, pray. Don’t make any decisions until your anger has subsided. Know that God is with you and has a plan for your family. You are your child’s biggest supporter or your child’s worst enemy. She needs you right now for wisdom. Seek advice yourself, and at this point, please put the baby’s needs in front of everything. After all of the emotions die down, the reality of it is that this is a life – your flesh and blood. God will work it all out for good if you allow him to.
Thanks for letting me share a little of our story. May God Bless you!!
linety says... written by linety , January 26, 2009
thax a lot for ur post. i got courage from it. im all alone, only in God i trust and i pray always. my boyfriend abandoned me, my parents did the same as well. it does nt change my mind, because my baby deserve to see how bright and shine the sun is if God ll allow it. i put all in my God power. it make me cry sometime, and i feel as i m isolated among the world. im only left with 49 days from today, i beg to God to be with me in my day of joy and trouble. i feel im not part of the world, God direct me day and night. i knw there s darkness and light. i never think of abortion, i respect and love my baby. dear God bless me to hold my baby one day. my due ll be 17 March.
REANN0607 says... written by REANN0607 , January 26, 2009
Thats a great story. Im happy you supported your daughter because most teens arent that lucky. Their parent act out of shock and anger. Their solution to the problem is to get rid of it and pretend it never happened because of fear for their daughter and what people will say. Teens need to understand that if they stand their ground and stick with their desicion to go through with the pregnancy, their parents will eventually accept it. Most parents try to scare their children into abortion by saying they will be kicked out of disowned, but when they see that little miracle, they know they were wrong. Trust in your choice and don't backdown. God has a plan and its refered to as fate. Be strong, once you get that positive pregnancy test, you're a mom. Your life's not over, its just taking a different route. Your child will bring you more hapiness than an abortion will. It comes with a lot of responsability but its worth it. Tell your mom/dad that you are NOT getting an abortion. Let them know they cant change your mind. And BE STRONG!
poppetx says... written by poppetx , January 27, 2009
i just wish my mum had read this when i told her i was pregnant :( x
MzLady22 says... written by MzLady22 , January 27, 2009
This story is very emotional for me. I was always a very good child to my parents, I never got into trouble, but I was irresponsible and I still didn't take responsibility after the fact. I wish my mom hadn't talked me into the decision, but I know if i had put my foot down and said no, she would have supported me too. I guess now all I can do is not look back and think, what if. what is done is done and I have accepted it.
MissKirsty says... written by MissKirsty , February 03, 2009
wow, thanks for sharing this! :-)
singel mum of three says... written by singel mum of three , February 07, 2009
iv read your storys and i feel for all of yous iv just found out my 15 year old daughter is pregnent i was so shocked but now iv had time to think and take it all in but no matter wot i will support my daughter all the way as is going to have it so matter wot pls any1 who is tel your mum
mamisoto says... written by mamisoto , February 11, 2009
wow! my son who is turning 19 in March told me that he was haven a baby I was not shocked the poor girl arrived at my house with her face full of tears I gave her a big hug and told her everything is going to be ok and her parents are not going to kill her. What's bothering me is that she is considering an abortion which is her right I also texted her with this web site so she could read of these real life stories I even told her my story I was a teen mom of 2 and I will never regret haven them they both gave me life Also I think I will be a cool grandma at the age of 38
nikfer says... written by nikfer , February 13, 2009
I am facing this very decision today!!! I am 22years old and I recently found out that I was pregnant. I dnt knw how far along I am.I told my mom today that i was pregnant and she is insisting i get an abortion, she has even gone has far setting up an appointment for me..im torn to pieces. I have never had the courage to stand up to her and tell her what I want and today I did just that and I told that I'm not going to do it and I'm having this baby whether she is a part of it or not.After reading this story I am glad I made the decision I have and nothing is going to change my mind coz my baby deserves a life. Thnx for sharing your story!!
mchobe says... written by mchobe , February 26, 2009
thankx for posting this its really shown me how parents feel when their daugther has a teenage pregnancy thanxss a lot now i know what to do
This is a very inspiring story, I'm 17 and pregnant and even though I was never a burden 2 my family it still happened;thank god I have support even though its not from everyone,I've grown 2 love my child even though I'm juss 5 months yeah it feels akward knowin that im a soon 2b mother but it's juss something i have to deal with and on july 23rd i'll kno the real joy of life.
nette11 says... written by nette11 , March 05, 2009
AFTER READING THIS I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER TO TELL MY MOM THAT IM PREGNANT. YOU HAVE INSPIRED ME TO KEEP MY BABY I WAS THINKING OF HAVING AN ABORTION AND MY BOYFRIEND SAID WHTEVER I WANTED TO DO HE WOULD SUPPORT ME THREW EVERYTHING. I THANK YOU FOR POSTING THIS ON HERE, BECAUSE I FEEL THAT IF I DIDNT READ THIS I PROBABLY WOULDVE WENT THREW WITH THE ABORTION. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
CimaCup says... written by CimaCup , March 09, 2009
This was a great thing to read. I just turned 21 feb 22. I missed my period this month and thought ut oh, I'm pregnant???!!! I still won't know until later today or tomorrow as I'm waiting for my tests to arrive by mail. I live with my husband and his parents and their oldest son who is 26. So just being here can cause a fight. Why is it so hard to tell someone your pregnant or might be pregnant even though your married?? It's still JUST as scary! His family is going through money troubles. My husband was in debt when I moved in with him. 50,000 worth!!!!!!! So of course I might be telling them I'm pregnant... IT WILL BE HARD! We once had a pregnancy scare when I was 16, and then 18, they ignored us for weeks!! Wouldn't talk to us and I wasn't able to talk to my family because of old pasts that hurt me badly!!!!! I cried for so long. The rules in this house are...Their house..Their rules...We CANNOT try for a baby until we are out on our own. Of course to some extend that's probably a good thing to do. But, my other thing is, We are a MARRIED couple. They have no right to tell us if we can have a family of our own. If I'm not pregnant now....because we WERE TTC until we decided a few days ago not to go forth on this....after a lot of drama happened....
But, if I am pregnant I will tell them. And, I will tell them that if they want to ignore me that is okay by me. God listens to me, and he will guide me along with motherhood. If God wants me to have a baby, it's HIS choice. Thanks so much for sharing this. It really means a lot that eventually things will be okay!
Kanye says every thing happens for a reason written by Kanye , March 20, 2009
It was summer 2005 when i found out about my pregnancy,i was 15yrs old at the time-it was so weird & surreal at the same time.I told my bf[who aws 17 at the time],he didnt want the baby.I was so devastated!!!!!!i almost had an abortion,but my heart just said NO!!I had my baby in October '05,a few days later i went to write my final year exams.My mom was so disappointed.But it happened-if u are pregnant its not the end of the world-ONLY THE BEGINNING!Hence i say everything happens for a reason.
Pink1346 says... written by Pink1346 , March 20, 2009
God created this Baby for a reason. I think this has really helped me. Cuz I had well I might be pregnant but I dnt knw yet and well Im scared. Cuz my mom is going through a divorce with my stepdad cuz he had an affair. Plus I just had sex for my first time with my bf and I havent said anything to him bout that I might be pregnant cuz its too soon to tell.I just need help I feel stupid for wat I did. So anyone that can help me in anyway would be nice. thanks
adeline says... written by adeline , April 11, 2009
hi im adeline im 14 and im pregnt mum has bn reali supportive of it and some times its hrd 4 me as i can get in lots of pain but try 2 hide it and thts probly lyk the worsed thn 2 do but 2 all u girls like me dont give up hope a child can bring lots of joy and if u have an abortion u may regret it later. feel free 2 talk 2 me
natsha27 says... written by natsha27 , June 11, 2009
Hi,i am really touched by your story, i wish my mum would be the same with me, i am 19 and 12 weeks pregnant, my mum is a single mum and has been through the same situation am in now, only difference is i have a lot of help from friends and family including my partner and his family. am in a sticky situation to the extent where my mum nearly committed suicide when i refused to terminate the baby, i am completely stuck and i feel as though i am being emotionally forced to abort my bby,i told her i would do it, for my sisters sake as she is only 14 and needs my mother more than i do. i am shocked and deeply disturbed by my mothers behavior, i dont want to have to kill my child because of that. i know i have done wrong by her and i have accepted the consequences. but she is making me choose....
luzikho says... written by luzikho , July 07, 2009
thats quite inspiring i so wish all mothers thought that way. im also 2 months preg but my mom will be the last to know. most parents especcially african find a pregnant teenage as being loose and a disgcace in the family, im so happy for your daughter.
im 18 years old and ive just found out that im 2 months pregnant. im doing my second year at college, from a disadvantaged background the only person in the family sent to colloege my mom sacrifices every thing for me so i could get a bright future, so im in a dillemma.
tiggeriswild6 says... written by tiggeriswild6 , August 06, 2009
i hope my mum and dad nd my whole family are going to be supportive.. [fingers crossed] coz its what i want more than anything.. hope my boyfriend (fiance) doesnt abandon me nd his child..
im a 15 year old wanting a baby and have wanted one all my life.. xx Amy xx
alishhh says... written by alishhh , September 13, 2009
There's so many of us that are going to be faced with the same thing in the future or the present. For all of us we aren’t going to have the same support as your daughter did so what are we to do? I am 16 years old and am pregnant. I have yet to tell anyone has I just found out yesterday. My boyfriend and I have been dating for only two months but we have known each other since we were little children. He has told me many times that he does not want children till he is in his 20’s, so I really don’t know how I am to tell him. As for telling my parents, I only could wish they would be as supportive as you were for your daughter. My dad is the guy who has never been proud of anything, believes he has a shitty life when he has not theirs many others who have been faced with alot more. My big brother is the one of the family that was the trouble maker, doing all the mistakes, as for me I have always been the one doing all the house work, keeping amazing grades, taking care of this whole family. So I know I would personally make a great mother but knowning that I will have no support makes me become less positive about it. I need a sign to show me that I am to keep this baby, because if not I don’t want to be faced with losing everything because I am only in grade 11 and there’s still alot I need to do.
SoLost10 says... written by SoLost10 , September 15, 2009
I think more parents should be like you. This is so inspiring. I'm 18 and I think I might ne pregnant and I'm so scared to tell my parents because I know that they will be very disappointed in me. Thank you so much for posting this, it gives me hope
masonnalexmommy says... written by masonnalexmommy , October 08, 2009
That post hit home for me... I was 17 when I found out that I was pregnant. My mom was very unsupportive for the first day. I was 17, pregnant, and liveing with the most irresponsable "little boy" in the world. After the news set in the first couple of days my mom started to get used to it then was very worried. I was homeless and wouldnt come home, being very stuuborn I thought I had it all. About 2 or 3 weeks before I had my first son, I moved back home and my mom and dad LOVED it. Of course I took responsablity for my child, while his father did not, BIG SURPRISE. My best friend came into my sons life as his father and daddy and took responsiblity for my son claiming him as his own and 6 weeks later I was pregnant again. My mom was heartbroken. She had adopted her 6 year old grandson and my dad was VERY sick an unable to work a full workweek, they were struggling and I only brought home $555 a month. A year later I am out on my own, and trying to be the WORLD'S BEST MOMMY and I think I am doing a wonderful job at it.
Thank you so much for this post. I'm 18 and on my own but it is still going to be hard to tell my mom. I have been praying but your post makes me realize that i need to pray more and put every thing in God's hands =] THANK YOU!
ellybabey says... written by ellybabey , October 14, 2009
shes very lucky to have you suporting her, when i told my mum i was pregnant the other month she was realy mad , and reacted a dffrent way to what i thought x
martinezm says... written by martinezm , October 16, 2009
wow in almost in a same situation but my guy is wanting a baby with me but in only 15 years old going 2 16 and im scared to say that i want 2 wait in scared he might leave me because i really love him and dont know what 2 do
Mandyc628 says... written by Mandyc628 , October 28, 2009
this story was very touching im 16 and just found out that im pregnant.....my two cousins and my aunt susie are coming over to my house on monday and thats when we plan on telling my mom...after i tell her im going to show her this and make her read it in hopes of it possibly saving my A**
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My eldest daughter had been rebellious for several years so when she told me that she was pregnant at seventeen, my reaction was calm. It was the icing on the cake for me. I am the mother of four children. On that day almost two years ago, my other children were 14, 11 and 5. My husband and I had been married 18 years. This news changed our life forever. After the initial shock had worn off, anger and disappointment settled into our lives. Haley was very irresponsible and the thought of her having a baby and trying to raise it seemed like impossibility to me. She couldn’t take care of herself. She made bad choices. How in the world was she going to care for an infant?
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"Every time a woman has an abortion it just crushes her self-esteem
smaller and smaller and smaller."
