If I can help one person- I will be happy!  Please don't do it.  I was forced by my parents to have an abortion when I was 15.  I will never be the same person.   There will always be a hole in my soul.  I am now married with 3 children- and I still grieve the loss.  If only I would have stood up to them as many brave girls did on this website.

If you are not able to care for the baby and give it a good home---adoption is the best alternative.  At least you will know in your heart that your baby is in a good place.  I have a friend that opted to give her child away at 16 (in secret).  After 25 years, her son sought her out and met his 3 siblings.  She said the hole in her heart has been mended.  I will never get that chance.  I can only hope that I will be forgiven. 

I look at my children now and wonder what my baby would have been like.  I have had multiple miscarraiges throughout my life- and I often wonder if this was my punishment.  Also- I do not have any girls.  Was this aborted baby a girl?  Was that my chance?  I will never know- and will never stop thinking about it.

I sometimes think I should talk to someone about my guilty feelings- and feelings of loss.  But what will it help?  What is done is done- and it cannot be taken back.  I will have to live with my decision for the rest of my life.  I also will live with ill feeling towards my parents for the rest of my life- which I really hate.  They are good people- and I'm sure they hate the decision they made also.  I don't know- because it was never talked about again.  It is the "dirty secret" in our closet.    

So- please- think long and hard about what is right for you.  Because if you decide to have an abortion- the decision does not fade away after it is complete.  It haunts you.

Comments (4)

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sonal says...
written by sonal , August 09, 2008

Your right, if you feel you cant support your baby, adoption is the next best thing. I just had an abortion - not even been a week. I was so determined to keep the baby. I was going to, but then everyone pressured me into a abortion it got too much for me. No one will understand how your feeling, apart from yourselves. Dont listen to others, your carrying it nobody else.

sexy423 says...
written by sexy423 , January 27, 2009

you not alone i will help you just hang on

Brooke2212 says...
written by Brooke2212 , September 26, 2009

I say what you did to your daughter was worng becaus you could have got mad and yelled at her but you didn't have to throw away her baby because she must be realy upset at you for doing what you did to her.

I THANK YOU FOR NEVER GIVE UP. I JUST DON'T LIKE YOUR MOM NO DISREPCT
BUT WHAT SHE DID THATS WHAT I DON'T LIKE HER AT ALL. BY!!

1armymom says...
written by 1armymom , November 12, 2009

There is forgiveness and if you seek it then you will find peace. God is a loving God and your miscarriages are not punishment from a loving and forgiving God. This is not heaven and life is not perfect here...sometimes we make choices that are outside of the blessings that God has for us and repenting with a sincere heart and desire to be forgiven will give you strength to make peace with the family members that were not able to be supportive of you at such a difficult time in your life. God Bless you and please know that He desires your heart to be healed and filled with the LOVE He has for you.

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