I was 18 and Confused

Letters

standupgirlI just felt I needed to share my story. I was 18 and it was the end of march or beginning of april when I found out I was pregnant. My boyfriend and I (now fiance) were very confused on what to do.

He had his deposit down for his college and I was about to do the same for the same school. When I told him the news he immediately dropped out of the college that was a few hours away and enrolled in community college for the fall. We both wanted to keep the baby but he also said he would stand by whatever decision I would make. We were together for almost 2 years when this happened. Well we told his parents first and they were really supportive. We both were 18 and had a strong relationship. My mom and family on the other hand were VERY angry. My mom kept pushing for abortion and I cried EVERYDAY because of the way my family was putting pressure on me. I did not know what to do so I went along with my family and had an abortion. I seemed like the only young woman there who actually cared about what I was about to do. I cried the entire time there and I knew my mom would be furious if I didn't go through with it. The procedure was painful physically and emotionally. I felt awful. I was so angry with myself.

A few months went by since and my boyfriend finally confessed how he felt about the abortion. He cried to me about how much he was looking forward to being a daddy and he would have done whatever it took to help support us. I cried my eyes out that day because if I would have heard him say those words the day I had the abortion I would have walked right out of there. I confided in a close friend of mine about what happened and she turned her back on me and told people at school and before I knew it I was being harassed. Being called a baby killer and other really harsh comments were made. I went home crying EVERYDAY until graduation day. I was so afraid that someone would stand up at graduation when they announced my name and say something rude because that was how bad I was harassed. I'm a pretty quiet girl and never got in trouble in school but when this one girl in my English class kept making comments to her friend about me I got up in her face and cursed her out. I had about enough of everyone's taunting and harassing and she was the last straw. I was sent to the office but did not get in trouble, they were aware of the situation that was going on, which nothing was really done about it. I will never forget my senior year, it was the worst year of school, instead of remembering the good I will always remember the way my classmates treated me.

I am now 21 and have a beautiful almost 3 month old son. He is my everything. I am still with my boyfriend and we're planning to get married within a year. I will never make that decision again and I regret listening to my mother. I still think about my son or daughter to this day. So girls before you go have an abortion really think it through especially if you really want to keep your baby.  Don't let anyone else talk you out of it. It's your baby and that baby will love you for the rest of your life.


 

Dear Jessica,

Firstly may I say how much I so appreciate you allowing your heart to spill the truth of your pain onto paper.  Ohhh how my heart just ached as I read your story and I am so so very sorry for your loss.  Truly - it is not only yours and your bf's loss, but it is also your mom’s loss.

You may not see it today, but I have a feeling her heart must grieve quietly in the secret places of the night.  I'm sorry for all of you that hurt because of this loss.

At the same time, I am happy that you and your bf plan on marriage and with the addition to the two of you right now ... making 3.

Jessica - you can e-mail me any time.  You see - I've also had an abortion in my past.  The pain is only the type of pain that another woman that has experienced can only know and it would be my honor and a blessing to be here for you to share in your sorrows and your joys together.

Just let me know and I will be praying for you.

Thank you for your e-mail.

Luv Lisa
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Comments (17)add
Pink1346
Pink1346 says...
written by Pink1346 , March 20, 2009
The World doesn't understand that when a baby is growing inside a woman that no matter how many day it is that it still is a baby no matter what. If a mother can not and will not be able to take care of this baby then she needs to give the baby for another familey to be able to give that Child the love and care it needs. The world today doesn't want to think mostly and just be greedy and do things their own way. But all of need to stand together and fight the world on abortion and say let these Babies go into a home that will care for them.
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tabby joh
tabby joh says...
written by tabby joh , March 25, 2009
As long as we live in this world,it is because somebody decided to carry us all through no matter all the challenges that she faced.So why should we agree not to have another person see and live a life like us?Don't you think we are being too unfair to these babies?

They have a right to live!!!Please let's say "NO" to abortion after all "Abortion is a crime"
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cmarkey86
cmarkey86 says...
written by cmarkey86 , March 28, 2009
Jessica, I am new to this group. I actually found this website while I was online tonight looking at some other pro life blogs. Your story along with so many other girls saddens me so much. I am also a young mother of two and I became a mother when I was 19. It is a scary thing to have happen to you, and changes your life, but I have to say that out of all the stories I read, the one deciding factor that comes up time and time again is the influence that others have on all these girls. I know my parents influence was major. I come from a very pro life family, but they wanted me to adopt the baby out. I went with my heart and she is now almost 4 and me and my husband have been married almost 4 years. Now we have a 3 month old son. Others told me differntly, but I knew God had a plan. My mom always told me "God will never give you anything you can't handle" I tell myself that all the time. You are a strong girl and you are wounded, but stories like yours change the minds of other young mothers seeking an abortion. You show them that there is strength and hope. Love your baby and your fiance and know that God loves you! Women need to unite around the world and show people that abortion does hurt and doesn't solve the problem. God bless you and your family..



Caroline
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Tiffany1
Tiffany1 says...
written by Tiffany1 , April 05, 2009
When i read your story i get chills all over my body. Your story is EXACTLY to same as mine, its soooo scary! We even share the same name, my real name is Jessica too. I know exactly how you felt because i just went through it 2 months ago and i'm 17 turning 18 very soon. congrats on your new child, you are truly blessed
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mbundutl
mbundutl says...
written by mbundutl , April 14, 2009
Jessica i thank you from the bottom of my heart,you are an inspiration indeed by warning other girls out there not to do the same mistake.
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stumblebum
stumblebum says...
written by stumblebum , April 15, 2009
i found out after i had my abortion that my boyfriends mum would have let us live there with the baby, she would have helped and everything..we were too scared to tell our parents
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okaylabonitaxo
okaylabonitaxo says...
written by okaylabonitaxo , April 23, 2009
Jessica, your extremely brave to tell your story, ive went through it and its extremely hard. my boyfriend also confessed after how much he wanted to be a daddy and how it sometimes makes him cry himself to sleep. and I think all of the people who are saying stop abortion have really never been through the fear of being in high school and reading that test. you have to break many hearts telling them. its horrible it made me never want to be touched again. your strong always remember that, congrats on your new baby and the wedding
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delyciouzxma
delyciouzxma says...
written by delyciouzxma , April 29, 2009
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. It really touched me. I'm sorry you had to go through that traumatic experience but thankfully you are now the mother of a new baby and I hope you and your husband can move past this. I wish you and your family the best. =)
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respect411
respect411 says...
written by respect411 , May 15, 2009
Jessica ~ Like other girls and young women have expressed on here, your story motivated me. I was 20 years old and got pregnant twice. One was a miscarriage, the other; abortion. Like you and many others, my decision was majorely influenced by my parents. They are the 'type" when it comes to relationships, are very strict: Marriage, then kids. However, my birthmother is a bigger influence in my life. Without her, I wouldn't be here. So, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for making your voice heard. Many of us don't have the support we all wish for, but with God on our side and our kids to give us encouragment, I know we can all be happy, just like you. Congrats on your new little one. I wish you the best in all the world!

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harlo5/3/09
harlo5/3/09 says...
written by harlo5/3/09 , May 17, 2009
I was 13 when i found out that i was pregnant.On August 15, 2008 my life changed, forever. That was the day that i found out that i was pregnant. After only having unprotected sex 1 time! That is all it takes! My boyfriend told me nothing was going to happen, and i believed him. I felt like i should do it too! All my frineds were! So why couldnt i!? Because i wasnt ready for the responsibilities that came with it! thats why. My beautiful baby girl Harlo Alexis, was born on May 5, 2009. She is now 13 days old and is the love of my life! I may only be 14 now, but my boyfriends parents, and mine have been very much involved with Harlo's life and help us out signifigantly. Me and my boyfriend are still together now smilies/smiley.gif and we are very happy with our decision to keep Harlo
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limegreenrocks_13
limegreenrocks_13 says...
written by limegreenrocks_13 , June 12, 2009
hey i just wanted to say that you might not have done what you thought was right, but you did do it for a good reason. you love your mom and your unborn baby and congrads on the new baby.
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iriswee
iriswee says...
written by iriswee , June 30, 2009
Hello there Jessica,

You're amazing. Your fiance too. It's great to know that your relationship is still going strong!

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alicia871
alicia871 says...
written by alicia871 , July 01, 2009
wow i wish i could be you right now! I also gave up my baba when i was 18 and now i am 21 and so badly want a baby and my current boyfriend is not ready for a baby. Be blessed with your little angel! :-)
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alishamayden
...
written by alishamayden , July 14, 2009
i would just like to say, i admire your courage, alot! i am only seventeen right now, i am graduated from high school, and i think i am pregnant... im not sure yet tho.. i want you to know your story inspires me alot.. to just be who i am and ignore other people.. if you made it i know i can..
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Brooke2212
Brooke2212 says...
written by Brooke2212 , September 22, 2009
How are you doing girl I read your story and I hope you are doing GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!
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march 1, 2008
march 1, 2008 says...
written by march 1, 2008 , October 28, 2009
hey i kno how you must feel i listened to my mother also i did it cuz my mom and dad are very religious! i didnt want them to be ashamed of me so i had an abortion at 13 years old i got pregnant again know i have a beautifull baby girl who is just four months old her first toot came out this week i was so overwelmed i started crying and calling all my closest friends!!
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babylipscomb
babylipscomb says...
written by babylipscomb , November 20, 2009
i am really happy that your fiance decided to stay with you even after you had an abortion. that is a real man, and that proves that he is really in love with you. it was wrong of your mom to push you toward something like that. she should have asked herself, "what would i have done if my mom would have pushed me toward an abortion when i got pregnant." im pretty sure that she wouldnt have pushed you so hard to get one.also, congrats on your son, i bet he is a miracle. not many girls that get pregnant think about the future when they go in to get an abortion. abortion is a selfish act girls and woman go through with because they are afraid. but it is not the childs fault. no one should have the right to kill an innocent baby just because of fear. i dont think they grasp the concept that if they want children when they are older, but get an abortion now, the chance of having a child may not be there anymore. well, congrats again, and i hope and pray that you live a long and happy life with your baby and fiance.

your SUG sister,
margie (babylipscomb)
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