Hello! My name is Carol Anne and I'm 24 years old. Perhaps my problem is not that important compare to other girls, but for me it is, because it's making me very blue. 7 months ago, I was dating a guy and 3 months later, I got pregnant. Honestly, I felt deeply drowned in an ocean where I couldn't swim, because even though I have a bachelor's degree, I have a full time job, and I'm doing my master's, I didn't feel prepared and to be honest, I didn't want to have a child without being married or at least in a stable relationship. Since the first day I knew, I decided to keep it, because, although I respect the decition of those who abort, I couldn't do it.

Dear Becky,

i found out i was pregnant 28 april 2009. i was only 17 and in my first year of university. i was so lost, sad and confused. all i could think about was how i was going to get myself out of the situation. i cried myself to sleep thinking i had let myself and my parents down. life was just miserable. the first person i told was my boyfriend. he said he'd support me in whatever i decided. just the thought of being a mom at 17 made me fill so sad.

It wasn't meant to happen. I was in a  foreign country. I was lonely. My friend who I was staying with had sent me off with his friend so he could invite some body around for sex. He'd been cutting me off for a lot of the time that I stayed with him. I went out with this friend, we had a few drinks, got back home, and due to space, were to share a bed together. We shared a bottle of vodka between us whilst talking about how crap we both felt, how lonely we both were in different ways, and got very emotional. I don't remember how it happened, but we ended up having unprotected sex. 

i met my boyfriend 9 and a half months ago and ever since that day ive never been happier. he has saved me from depression and sorrow. My mum left my dad about 1 year ago, took most of everything my dad had in his house and took my sister away from me. I chose to live with my dad, and help him through this. It was one of the sadest moments of my life having to watch my dad cry most nights, its the hardest thing to watch a man cry. We kept eachother going but we were both struggling. until i met matt and he seemed to go out and socialise lots more. life was heading to normality. besotted by matt, i struggled to leave him every night, i hated to sleep with out him. it didnt feel normal. so i moved in with matt. months went passed and ive never felt more comfortable with anyone in my life.

I am a Masters student in Clinical Psychology, at the University of Pretoria, South Africa. As part of my Masters program, I am writing a dissertation on the impact of Post-abortion distress on the relationships of women. I am interested to learn about the experiences of women who have struggled through the ordeal of having to terminate a pregnancy and I need volunteers who would be willing to share their experiences with me.  Anyone who has had an abortion within the last 10 years is eligible to partake in the study. If this is you, and you want to share your experience, please contact me on 079 453 9980 or This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it for more information. Participation is confidential and interviews will be handled with sensitivity.  Alternatively, if you know someone who might be eligible and willing to participate please forward this notice to her.
I appreciated your willingness to help.

Kind Regards
Suné Botha (Researcher)
079 453 9980
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